In our Presentation Skills training course the subject of how to handle Question and Answer sessions can be greeted with anything from  sunny optimism to doom laden dread.

Some people look forward to them as a welcome relief from having to hold court alone and have the chance to enter into a more natural dialogue with their audience. For others there is a very real fear that questioners may be challenging or even hostile  or, quite simply, leave the speaker completely at sea as to how to respond.

As trainers we spend our days handling questions and challenges. If we dreaded them we couldn’t possibly offer the high level of interactivity that we do, and all discussions would be fraught with tension. The stress level would be ghastly.

Questions are Vital

But questions are vital to the way we work. They mean people are awake (which is always a good sign) and engaged.

So we actively encourage questions and apart from a few sticky moments here or there where we have to get creative, on the whole, we enjoy sharing ideas and exploring different ways of looking at the world.

Our mission is to help people feel so good about asking questions that they all ask even more!

How do we go about handling them?

Here are our 3 hugely important rules of engagement:

1. Treat every question as a gift.

If someone gives you a gift it’s unlikely you will immediately point out what’s wrong with it. Even if you hate it with a passion. The odds are you will say thank you and accept that at least they took the trouble before launching into the delicate conversation about whether or not they kept the receipt.

Well it’s the same with questions.

They have taken the trouble to ask.

Say someone comes up with a question or comment that seems completely irrelevant or missing the point.

If you crush them by immediately pointing out where they are wrong, not only will you make it less attractive for them to offer up any further thoughts, you will also run the risk of making anyone else in the group think twice before they offer themselves up for a similar fate.

So, instead, try noticing what is right about what they have said. Ask yourself:

Why is it interesting?

How is it similar to the real answer?

What bit of it is valid?

How does it further the discussion?

Why might you be glad they have said it?

Why might other people think the same thing?

This certainly involves some nimble thinking on your part and it gets easier the more you do it. It’s easy to let,”No” be the first word that spills out of your mouth but when focus on finding the positive it’s amazing how the whole conversation can become less stressful and more productive.

2. Share Eye contact around the group

Every so often there will be someone whose mission seems to be to hijack proceedings and enter into a one to one dialogue with you about whatever issue he or she has burning away.

Beware the lure of the hijacker.

The greatest danger here is to get so focused on one person asking many questions that you end up effectively  ignoring the rest of the group.

So when someone asks a question by all means acknowledge them with eye contact at first and start your answer in their direction but very quickly your eye contact needs to return to be shared around the rest of the group.

This does two things:

It keeps the discussion and engagement open to all.

It means you have more control over when or whether you take another question from that individual. They will find it harder to come back if you are looking elsewhere in the group. If or when you want them to speak just look at them again and they will see their opportunity.

3. Take a step forward

Sometimes the horrible question happens when you just don’t know the answer. It’s pretty well bound to as I haven’t yet come across the person who knows the answer to everything. (Although some may think they do…)

When the difficult question comes up us humans tend to want to move away from it. This means if we are sitting at a table we may move slightly back in the chair or if standing it may mean we take a step back.

We also tend to want to avoid eye contact.

Both these actions unsurprisingly make us appear unconfident and ill at ease.

So do the opposite.

When the question comes take a step forward towards the questioner (just a little one – no need to be aggressive here!). Retain eye contact and admit you don’t know.

At this point you can offer up further discussion later, you can ask the group, you can offer to find out and follow up, or you can leave it.

Whatever the case, if you don’t appear to be rattled then the group will be far more likely to retain their faith in you and your confident expertise.

Remember all questions are gifts. Accept them with grace.