When it comes to networking events do you hang round the buffet and desperately hope they provide wine?
Or do you plunge in and work the room like a pro, quickly making new friends with a firm handshake and a twinkling eye?
In my natural habitat I’d be the one seeking out the Dutch Courage because the room to me feels about as inviting as the North Atlantic on a February day in Scarborough.

Introverts and Extraverts

 

Carl Jung defined the introvert as an
attitude-type characterised by orientation in life through subjective psychic contents
Which basically means someone who prefers to focus on their own inner world – and he describes the extrovert as
an attitude type characterised by concentration of interest on the external object
So that’s someone who prefers to focus on the world around them.
And of course there’s various shades of grey in between according to other personality traits, social and environmental influences. All of these can be subject to scrutiny when we complete any of the myriad  psychometric tests available to neatly categorize us in various letter or colour patterns and variations.
Some would say Jung has a lot to answer for. Nevertheless his thinking can be very helpful when it comes to dealing with the mysteries and vagaries of the human beings we have to rub along with.
So, in Jungian terms I would say I am an introvert but for networking the good news is I have a secret weapon:
I have highly developed extravert skills.

I want to be left alone…

 

I want to be left alone - Garbo and networking tips

The result is that even though, like Garbo, I spend a lot of time wanting to be alone with my thoughts (like writing this blog, for example) I am nevertheless able to facilitate and train others, host conferences, attend parties, and even work a room at a networking event with the enthusiastic aplomb of the extravert.
No-one would ever know my true leanings….
(By the way lots of performers are like this – it seems to go with the territory!)

Absolutely Crucial Top Ten Tips

 

Here are some tips I’ve found handy for us introverts to get through the coming months of networking do’s and festive parties without resorting to vast quantities of Pinot Grigio or a hip flask. This will also suit all extraverts who haven’t read Jung and find the whole process daunting anyway:
  1. Make a hit list – research the top 3 people you want to meet, by name or by function and find something specific you can acknowledge as particularly interesting. This is a great way of complimenting someone without coming across as creepy.
  2. Prepare your small talk; listen to the news before you go in – but beware dangerous or inflammatory topics. As at family get togethers politics and religion are probably best avoided.
  3. Use positive psychology to raise your confidence and status – give yourself a positive talking to before you arrive. You can do this!
  4. Think of yourself as if you’re the host of the party and try to make others feel comfortable – focus on asking questions of other people rather than talking about yourself. It’s easier and less stressful if the other person does the talking and they’ll appreciate  your attention.
  5. Match the strength of their handshake – if you’re given a wet fish don’t bone crunch – just return the wet fish with a smile.
  6. Hit easy conversation hot-spots, like the bar or the buffet (food is always a good discussion topic)
  7. Have an entry and exit line ready to move in and out of conversations. It’s easy to get stuck talking to one person you know. Make the decision to circulate and announce your intention to do so as you move on.
  8. Rather than looking for how people can help you in your career, look out for ways in which you can support other people. Look for opportunities to make introductions and recommendations.
  9. Be aware of peoples’ boundaries when you join and leave groups and acknowledge the whole group with eye contact. A handy ploy is to follow the waiter with the canapes or drinks – they always find a way in and can create a neat gap for you when they leave!
  10. Record personal details or unusual conversation topics on the back of peoples business cards. This can be a really useful reminder when it comes to getting back in touch or following up the event.

Join us for a glass and a bite…

 

The quick way to hone your networking skills is to come and join us on one of our public networking courses.

We provide the drinks and canapes – all you need is to pitch up, smile, and plunge in!

Come on in, the water’s lovely!

 

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