At Aspire Leadership we are commonly asked
How do I get people to trust me?
Well there’s a simple thing you can do to start with: Show others that you trust them first.
Spies and Leadership
Recently, I got drawn in to a reality TV show about MI5 called “Spies”.
I was interested to see agents using a technique to create trust in others that is familiar to us when we run our leadership courses.
In the programme there were several contestants who had to complete various assignments to see if they would make a good agent. As in many reality TV shows all the contestants shared a house.
Trust the mole…
Little did they know but there was a fake contestant who was a mole. The control team asked the mole to purposely make mistakes in one of the exercises. They then appeared to give him a hard time when he got back to the house. He proceeded to “open up” to one of the female contestants and seemed worried and vulnerable. All this (he explained later to camera) was to get her to trust him and, as a result, share her private thoughts with him.
He says:
Sharing your own vulnerabilities with someone else can be a very quick way to build rapport…..you need to build trust and one of the ways to do that is to share some of your own vulnerabilities
In the same way leaders can open up to their teams by sharing their stories with them. The more we are prepared to give of ourselves in relationships, the more we are likely to get back. This creates a positive social currency between us which is very strong when it comes to building loyalty and motivating people to go the extra mile.
Manipulation or Leadership?
If this seems manipulative to you and makes you feel slightly queasy you are not alone.
However it’s worth remembering that we all try and influence other people to get what we want from the moment we scream to be fed when we are babies.
In leadership, it’s what we choose to do with our power of influence that dictates how people will judge us in the future.
If you are genuinely interested in creating a strong bond with your team and your staff. Then look for ways that you can show that you trust them and they will be very likely to trust you back.
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