When I was asked to make my research public I felt I was standing on the shoulders of, and walking with, giants so I looked within to find out if I was dealing with imposter syndrome or a protective friend. I reminded myself of the importance of being ok with what I’m good at.

 It is December 2021. I am in my son’s nursery praying to the gods of sleep to be merciful and I receive an email from the Head of the MA in Children’s Literature at Goldsmith’s University. The email was asking if I would be happy for my research to be included in a publication of innovative research studies. My work would be one of nineteen MA alumni contributions of ‘outstanding research studies’.

Well

I thought…

I’m imagining there has been some sort of mistake here

Yes.

There it was in all its glory.

The gnarled claw of my old friend/foe: Lord Imposter of the Syndrome family. Their grip tightening on my heart, my gut and my voice.

Why on earth would they want my research in that book? Have they seen the other contributors… they’re incredible!? Would I feel like a complete fraud standing amongst those guys? Er yeah! I would only have to redraft it now anyway because there is no way it is good enough for publication.

Such lovely, helpful thoughts.

Imposter Syndrome or a Protective Friend?

The time had come for me to put into the practice a lot of the work I do with leaders around authentic and compassionate leadership.

We know imposter syndrome to be feeling like a fraud, that someday we will get ‘found out’, or, as I often mused in my executive leadership role, ‘phew, I got away with that one!’.

I have always wondered though, is this an imposter? Or is it a protective friend, warning against a perceived danger?

Louis Weinstock, in his stunning book ‘How the World is Making Our Children Mad and What to Do About It: A field guide to raising empowered children and growing a more beautiful world’ talks about showing compassion to these voices within us. He talks about listening to them and showing kindness and understanding. Essentially, they are a part of us. They are an ally along the journey and the intention is always good even if it is not helpful.

Listening to the Imposter

So I listened.

My imposter friend was trying to protect me from: rejection, not being as good as the others, not ‘rising above my station’.

I thanked them then I challenged them.

At Aspire, we talk about owning our strengths, being ok with the qualities we have. We talk about it being helpful to sometimes ‘hold a word in mind’. My word at this time was definitely ‘courage’.

My research was completely from my heart. I believe in it, I believe it matters. I believe it can transform not only the ambitions and experiences of young people but also adults who are part of the learning journey with them.

It was important that I challenged the self-doubt and aligned myself with the giants with whom I was walking because it matters. I could be counted amongst the others. All our projects were very different but the thread that pulled all our work together was a shared purpose and shared sense of what is right and what will work.

Doing this takes courage and a lot of self-compassion.

The world, now more than ever, needs leaders who can hold their imposters’ hands reassuring them that they have the resources, strengths and capabilities to be brave. To be kind.