It may surprise you to know that miscommunication is the norm.

We’re often surprised when someone misunderstands us. Situations where:

• What I say and what you hear are different
• I have a thought and think I’ve told you but I haven’t
• Despite being told many times, you still don’t remember what I said
• I don’t understand what you say, but don’t tell you
• I read more into your body language than is really there
• You don’t understand where I’m coming from and vice versa
• I think you’ve agreed to do something but you haven’t.

The list goes on and on!

So what can we do to make our communication clearer and more memorable?

We’re all so different and have such a different view of the world, different values and priorities that expecting our communication to work automatically might seem a little optimistic.

And yet, that’s pretty much what we do. We communicate hundreds of times a day and usually put very little attention on it. When we do focus on a communication because it’s important, it’s often the words we focus on – “What am I going to say?”

And yet the words are such a small part of the message. Anywhere between 0 and 100% of communication is non-verbal. So many other things have an impact, like your body language and tone, where and when you communicate, what’s going on for the other person, your past history with them, your and their personality, values and personal history.

To give you the best chance of communicating clearly here are 3 things to consider:

First, get clear about your purpose. What’s the point of your communication? What impact do you want to have on what they think feel or do?
If you have only a vague idea then your communication will be vague and their understanding of it will be even vaguer. Try to strip out any sense of judgment or criticism – framing your purpose positively and objectively. So rather than thinking something like “I want them to stop being so lazy” try “I want them to arrive on time for work”.

Secondly, put your attention on how, when and where you want to say it. Often external factors can have a huge impact – the choice between a public or private space, formal or informal setting, standing or sitting, noisy or quiet, before or after lunch can make the difference between being heard and taken seriously or not.

Thirdly, focus on them – what’s going on for them? How do they like to receive messages? When the other person is busy and stressed might not be the best time to talk to them. Remember that people process information in different ways. Some people prefer and remember a phone call, others an email and some only respond or remember when communication is face to face.

With a little thought and preparation around these three points you have a much better chance of your communication being heard and acted upon.

For more tips, tolls and techniques for effective communication book a place on our Influencing public course, call us about our in-house tailored training or contact us for a copy of our free Effective Communication document.