Why do we so often give advice instead of asking questions?
We are being constructive, no? We simply want to help:
Oh, I know just how you feel. I felt the same way…
I had that same thing happen to me…
Let me tell you what I did in a similar situation.
Do these sound familiar?
We want to help solve the problem, take the problem away quickly. And yet, so often, our advice only serves to put more distance between the individual and the solution. What’s more, particularly when it most matters, it can erode the very trust and rapport we were intending to build.
This famous quote from Rudyard Kipling’s “If…” poses the question so many of us face on a daily basis in our work lives but also at home as the stresses and strains of domestic life pull us and push us sometimes to breaking point.
How do some people seem to remain calm so much of the time?