So it’s January – what’s that got to do with emotional contagion?

We’ve made it through the first week, hurray! But with a cold snap being forecast and blue Monday approaching, how will you stay warm? Physically and emotionally? And what can we actively do about it?

Well, we turn on the heating for our shivering muscles. We crank it up. Our cold bones get warmer; we feel better.

So what would happen if we did that with our internal radiators too? To emit warmth for others and in turn, for ourselves?

Radiator v. Drain

Have you ever felt depressed after talking to a ‘drain’ at a party for too long, feeling like your good mood was sucked away?

Have you ever felt uplifted by a ‘radiator’ at work and felt energised, stronger, and more ready to take on the rest of the day?

Let me ask you this: at work or at home, which are you? A radiator or a drain?

And which do you want to be?

Science has told us that we ‘catch’ the moods of other people. They call this ‘Emotional Contagion’. Our limbic system in our brain (our emotional centre) works with an open loop design; it depends on external sources to manage itself (compared to a closed loop which is self-regulating). In evolutionary terms, this was useful; individuals could come to one another’s emotional rescue like the mother who soothes the crying of her child.

And research has shown that thousands of years later, our limbic brain still works in the same way. We give out signals via our emotions that literally change the bodies of the people around us, and therefore their moods.

That’s how couples are able to trigger surges of oxytocin in each other’s brains, creating a pleasant, affectionate feeling. But in all aspects of social life, our physiologies intermingle. Our limbic system’s open-loop design lets other people change our very physiology and hence, our emotions.

Daniel Goleman (author of ‘Emotional Intelligence’, 1995)

As leaders in the workplace, we need to be particularly careful of the moods we are displaying, as when it comes to a hierarchical environment, the most powerful person usually dictates the mood. After all, everyone is looking at the boss!

So we can warm up those around us if we choose to. Sounds good doesn’t it? But does choosing to be ‘the radiator’ mean we need to be relentlessly upbeat and happy all the time?

No. Because we can’t be. We humans come with an array of emotions and moods. In fact some psychologists argue that the contemporary emphasis on only positive feelings leads to unnecessary pain as we try to ignore or worse, suppress our anger, sadness, frustration etc.

Daniel Goleman’s first two dimensions of Emotional Intelligence (EI) can help us. They are Self-Awareness and Self-Regulation; in other words, the ability to recognise one’s own emotional status and then regulate those emotions moment to moment – be it intense fury or intense joy. And the good news is these are learnable skills. (In fact, we are currently designing a one day programme on EI on how to boost these skills – watch this space for more information!)

One simple thing

Maybe we can’t radiate inner warmth and energy 100% of the time. Could we do it more than we do? Probably. And especially at this difficult time of year. Here’s a practical way of doing it. A simple thing we often underestimate:

Smile more.

Here’s 4 reasons why:

1. Smiling activates the release of neuropeptides that work to fight off stress.
2. The feel good neurotramsnitters dopamine and endorphins are also released, which relax your body, lower your heart rate and blood pressure and induce pleasure.
3. Smiling also releases serotonin – a natural anti-depressant and mood lifter. All these factors lead scientists to believe that smiling more lets us live healthier, longer lives.

(Ron Gutman in his energetic TED talk on ‘The Hidden Power of Smiling’ cites an experiment where researchers studied the baseball cards of major league players. They found that the span of their smiles directly correlated to the span of their lives. Players with no smiles lived an average of 72.9 years whereas players with beaming smiles lived an average of over 80 years. Show us those teeth!).

And last but not least:

4. This is a two-way street. These chemicals are released in your brain but also in the brain of the person you are smiling at, who then can’t help but smile back because we know that genuine smiling is contagious. Some of the brain’s circuitry is actually designed to detect smiling and laughter so that we can respond in kind.

Smile and the world smiles with you

The average person smiles 20 times a day. How much more could you smile? And what other ways can you radiate warmth to others, and for yourself, this year?